7 Steps on How to Save a Relationship
John works long hours and Jude fells that he is not there for her. Jude spends most of her time taking care of the children and John fells that she doesn’t have time for him. Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here are the steps needed to save a relationship.
First of all you must decide if the relationship is worth saving. There is no relationship that can’t be saved, but this requires hard work and both parties must decide whether they want to do all that hard work together. Because if one of the partners decides it’s not worth all the hard work and he’s doesn’t want to get involved, there is little that can be done.
Many people get used to stay in a relationship because it is convenient or decide to remain in a marriage because of the children. This is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a strong commitment made by both parties. When the commitment it’s made it means that they decided that their relationship is worth saving.
The next step is to pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship. One of the issues in hoe to save a relationship by pinpointing the problem is that most people believe that the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.
For example, most people believe that an affair is a problem that causes the break up. In truth, the affair is the symptom or the consequence of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy between husbands can lead to a straying spouse. While many people look at the affair as the problem, the true and underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy. If you do not deal with the true problem, here being the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from happening, but some other problems could appear because the core of the problem is still there.
When you start to deal with core of the problem rather than symptoms, you can start to save the relationship.
Once you have identified the core of the problem you can move on to the next step in saving your relationship. This next step is to share your thoughts. This means both expressing your feelings as well as listening to your partner’s concerns and being opened minded. And one of the most important parts when you share your thoughts is to hold your partner’s hand as a sign that you want to reconnect even if you are in troubled waters and your feelings are confused. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing this because he or she wants to hurt you, but because is it a necessary step in truly communicating on the way to improve your relationship.
Once you have pinpointed and discussed the problems in your relationship you must create an action plan to solve them. After that you must create concrete steps on your action plan and follow them. If you feel that you don’t spend time together like you used to you could plan a date every week. You could also take turns in coming up with creative ways on how to spend an evening together each Wednesday (or some other day during the week). You could also commit to spend 20 or 30 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.
Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. There will be situations when you are going to take two steps forward only to take one back. In going forward there will be laughter but also tears. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.
Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship. You just have to take action.
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